I Permanently Dyed My Toxic Boss’s Head Black

I got my toxic multimillionaire boss blacklisted from every high-end country club in the state by replacing his expensive hair loss treatment with liquid permanent hair dye.

This man is a literal demon. He runs a real estate firm, makes $2M a year, and treats the junior staff like actual garbage. He regularly makes female interns cry and throws staplers when he's angry. His entire personality is built around two things: his fake tan and the fact that he is a member of the most exclusive golf country club in the city. He is incredibly insecure about his thinning hair and keeps a private bottle of premium, clear scalp oil in his executive bathroom that he applies three times a day.

Last Friday, he screamed at me in front of the entire office, calling me "incompetent" because the coffee wasn't hot enough, and threatened to fire me before my bonus cleared.

That was the final straw. I waited until he left for a lunch meeting. I went into his private bathroom, emptied his clear hair oil bottle, and filled it with a mixture of permanent Jet-Black hair dye and industrial skin-staining ink that I bought at an art supply store. The mixture looked identical to his dark oil.

He came back, went into the bathroom to freshen up before his big weekend charity golf tournament, and applied a massive handful of the liquid straight to his scalp and forehead.

Within 20 minutes, the chemical oxidised. His entire scalp, his forehead, and both of his ears turned a deep, unnatural, permanent pitch-black color. It looked like he had poured tar over his head. He looked like a cartoon villain.

He ran out of the bathroom screaming, trying to wash it off, but the ink was industrial—it takes weeks to fade from skin.

He had to attend the country club tournament looking like a absolute freak. He got into a massive, screaming argument with the club's board members who asked him to leave because he was making a scene and ruining the formal event. They voted to revoke his membership that same evening for "conduct unbecoming of a member."

He knows someone in the office did it, but there are no cameras in the executive bathroom. I resigned this morning via email. Enjoy the look, Greg.